Halloween Icons!

Nine new spooky-themed icons on Tacoma's Patreon!

Greetings, everyone. It's the fall season now and I've been working hard on Patreon rewards. Some merch I ordered finally came and will be available soon on both etsy and patreon. In the meantime, I've got more fun stuff available for download including nine new icons for October. Check them out here!

Have a Happy Halloween,
Tacoma

New Story Series: Lychee Tales

Tasmin meets up with Lychee at the Cindermint Cafe.

Summer has been great so far, I'm getting done a lot of art pieces and releasing tons of cool stuff on Patreon, including soon some stickers, buttons and other merch!

Today's update is about a new story series, Lychee Tales, which I started back in July. It will feature a bunch of short stories centered around friendly squirrelkin, Lychee Sweetnut. Lychee sometimes serves up stories alongside tea and desserts, with her midnight ramblings often about the strange creatures who lived far below Nimbaterra. Perhaps Lychee missed her calling as a therapist.

Shout-Out to all my awesome Patreon Supporters: Elwood, Kaori, Biscuit & Snoobjack. You guys rock! I can't wait to get this month's icon package out to you.

Until Next Time,
Tacoma

Commission Showcase 2020

Let's dive in!

Back in June, I made an announcement to FurAffinity & DeviantArt that commissions would be closed for awhile. I'd spent every day of the past ten months working and desperately needed a break. While I really do appreciate all of the business, a hiatus was long overdue.

Lately, I've been able to work on my own projects and get in a little downtime as needed. Lunati and I are collaborating on a side story which we'll hopefully be able to share in the coming weeks.

But for today, I'll be sharing a few of my favorite commissions from 2019 to the present day.

Click to Read More

The majority of commissions I get are for sprites or pixel art. Even though I'm not as active anymore, I still get a ton of work from members of the Furcadia community.

One of the most requested commission patches are trees, which is kind of irritating since there are a ton of free tree patches out there. I've even made some available for free use on my free patch page. Regardless, everyone seems to want their own unique trees.

I love getting commissioned for more interesting things, though, like this cat cave entrance.

And an animated fish fountain.

My favorite patches to work on are the small things like pillows, walls and small effects. They don't eat up much of my time but they still add something special to an area.

Different people commissioned these.

I also get work for custom avatars and sprites. These were for another member of Furcadia.


My custom avatars come with a portrait, which is included in the price of the commission.

And to wrap up the pixels, some lewd emojis for a friend. I've made a bunch like these for my discord server and everyone seems to want their own.

Finally, for digital art, I've finished a messy coloring page for a friend, and a digital painting of a friend's Final Fantasy XIV character.

Dicks in spaace.

For Snoobjack.

If you plan on commissioning me in the future, please note that I have increased many of the prices on my commissions page. In the meantime, I'll be enjoying this time with my wife, and on some long neglected personal projects.

Have a great summer everyone.

Until next time,
Tacoma

Dispelling Poison

A bottle of purple poison with skull and crossbones labelled 'Fear'.
Real friends don't poison your mind.

It's been a long time since I've made a personal update, so I'll be covering a lot of ground here. The decision to write this post was a hard one, but Lunati has agreed with me that it was necessary to get closure on some painful events. In the process, I hope it will provide better insight into what we went through and how we got out of it together.

Please Note: This post contains descriptions of real-life psychological abuse, trauma, injury and blood. If you're sensitive to any of these topics, you may want to sit this one out.

Click to Read More

For full context, I'll begin in January 2018. It was a time when my wife Lunati and I were at our most vulnerable. We'd spent the holidays hungry and isolated in the middle of downtown Minneapolis, living mostly off bread from a donation box after her 10-year career went up in flames. By February, it had been six months and Luna still hadn't found a new job. My family was 1300 miles away and couldn't really help us. Our savings had evaporated. I was taking sketch commissions for pennies on the dollar, selling off craft supplies and furcadia stuff, anything I could scrape together to pay for food and necessities. But I knew deep down, without any reasonable doubt that it would be a year of big changes.

Luna reached out to anyone she knew down in Florida, as we'd be likely be moving there to find work and she needed advice. In the process, she reconnected with one of her oldest friends. I was hesitant to get too close to this person, as something about them just didn't sit right with me. I rarely get that feeling about people so it caught me off guard. Yet, in short time I started to enjoy her company. We shared more interests than not. It felt good being able to hang out, joke and flirt with a fellow femme just as into gaming, art and perversion as we were. A couple months later, she asked us if we'd like to be her girlfriend and we agreed without hesitation.

The two of us decided to move back to Florida over the summer and, in doing so, would meet up with our girlfriend and start properly dating. We were content to love someone else together and the arrangement seemed like it would have worked out long-term. But love has a blinding effect so, for awhile, all the red flags just looked like flags. These warning signs would grow harder to ignore with time. The constant trash talking their friends. Inability to show empathy. A monstrous ego cloaked in self-loathing. The vicious need to always be right. The joy they derived in others' suffering. Looking back, it was all some pretty creepy shit, but her superficial charms were endearing enough that we were willing to look past them. And besides, we were in love.

Until that summer, I never really cared for booze. In October, I began my brief foray into alcoholism after our alcohol-fueled sex parties with 'nightmare girlfriend'. In part to deal with the uncomfortable living arrangement, an inconsiderate roommate and financial worries. But deep at the core of my upset was the ever increasingly volatile, mean-spirited person we were dating. It was the perfect storm for my already high anxiety to grow into an untameable beast.

Lunati found a job that month, giving me just enough privacy to keep my daily drinking under wraps, even with our nosy roommate constantly lurking around us. Every morning, as soon as Luna set off to work, I'd slam anywhere from 6-10 shots of vodka to keep my anxiety from spiralling out of control. I'd finish commissions and social media posts, then wrap up by sorting my portfolio. And much like our relationship with 'nightmare girlfriend,' this arrangement worked for awhile. It was 2018 and I was prepared for anything, even if I had to drink my way through it.

The tipping point happened just days into January 2019. 'Nightmare girlfriend' was in an especially wretched mood and decided I'd be her target that night. She tried to convince me that I was crazy while insisting there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She later admitted to being jealous that I had been talking to and bonding with one of her friends. After suffering a panic attack so intense it felt like someone had ripped all of the wires out of my brain, I threw away the alcohol. The blinders finally came off and only then did I realize the mess we'd gotten ourselves into.

A week into sobriety, more ugly things surfaced and I immediately descended into my second major panic attack. This one was so severe that I blacked out and woke to my head and knees covered in blood. It took just over a week for the bleeding gashes on my head to close up, but Luna helped me clean and care for the wounds. That was the night I learned 'nightmare girlfriend' was spreading lies about us for attention and actively trying to pit shared friends against us. When we confronted her we were told, 'That's just the way I am, take it or leave it.' I regret not ditching that human-shaped dumpster fire right then and there. But ultimately, relationship or not, we just wanted our friend back.

Despite all this, I kept abstaining from the alcohol. I'd already been down that road and never wanted to return. 'Nightmare girlfriend' grew ever more hostile and argumentative. Getting angry at everyone, not just us, seemed to be her favorite pasttime. It had always felt like walking on eggshells with her, but that feeling intensified with each passing day. She tried (and failed) to make us jealous by pointing out the success of certain 'friends' and making baseless comparisons of us to her less desirable ones. She projected her worst traits onto us and blame-shifted constantly. Her spouse even teamed up with her to join in the harassment, 'diagnosing' us with mental illnesses to further demonize us and fit their narrative that we were the jerks worthy of hate.

It felt like being in 6th grade with a school bully all over again, except if that bully just punched you unprovoked, ran to the principal's office and lied that you'd attacked them. Unsurprisingly, her ugliness had started to rub off on me. I'd picked up several traits and coping mechanisms in my dealings with her, many of which would take some time to unlearn. My final strategy was to reflect back some of her nasty attitude which made her especially furious. There would be no victory on this battlefield. My wife and I finally made the decision to go no-contact. We could now begin to detox from all of the poison she had filled us with. I was still angry at myself for not heeding my initial instincts, but foresight is 20/20 and denial is one hell of a drug.

Luna was trying to be strong, but stress was taking a toll on her, too. Mounting pressure at work. The terrible living arrangement and lack of privacy. All the love we'd given to her ex-friend only to be used for sex, torn down and thrown away like used-up trash. It absolutely crushed her and she was inconsolable for several days, if not weeks. At one point she told me she hated everybody and was done trying to make friends. This woman, who I fell in love with for her golden heart, was actually telling me she had no more love left to give. And yet, after all the abuse, gaslighting and discard, 'nightmare girlfriend' still had the audacity to tell her, "I hope we can still be friends." It took my wife awhile to pull out of her own denial, but she did.

Some days I regret not publicly calling out 'nightmare girlfriend' while I had the chance. No one else dared to stand up to her, even though she regularly picked fights with friends on her discord server. But I chose not to then, for the same reason I never hit back any of my past attackers. Not because I'd hate to stoop to their level, but because I knew even if justice wasn't immediate, the consequences of their actions would come back around to them in time.

During April 2019, I enjoyed a brief calm before the storm. We went out with friends from work, hit up the arcades, had a blast and forgot all about the stressful living arrangement, 'nightmare girlfriend' and the numerous ways we'd been hurt. One night after an uneventful dinner, I had my first sudden, unprovoked panic attack. Feelings of overwhelming dread, dizziness, chest pain and severe weakness took over me. In that moment, what little sanity I'd spent the past month stitching back together was torn apart. I got a ride to the emergency room where I was given a chest X-ray, CT scan, bloodwork, the whole nine yards. But there wasn't going to be a simple explanation, because there wasn't a simple cause.

I learned that I was still healing from the injury which could cause some psychological issues all on its own. Recent events may have also contributed to an attack from my MS, but I'd need to see my neurologist for a better answer. It wasn't until a follow-up appointment some weeks later would I hear the exact name of what I'd been experiencing. Panic Disorder, with PTSD at the root. It can happen to anyone following a period of trauma or abuse. It was a lot to process and I wasn't yet sure what to make of it. Luckily, none of my doctors felt I needed any additional treatment at this time. I'd be prescribed the ocassional 'as needed' xanax for the attacks, but only on a short-term basis. Ultimately, I'd need to adopt healthier coping mechanisms to get free.

My two catnip-coated fiends were an anchor to sanity through the tough times.

For the next month, my symptoms worsened and I wound up at the ER a few more times. I could barely sleep or eat and was losing far too much weight. At my thinnest, I weighed in at 110 lbs which made me look terrible. During the 3rd ER visit, I was told I'd lost way too much muscle and they'd be admitting me if I came in any lighter next time. The suspected causes were always the same. They'd send me home with some anti-vertigo and anxiety meds and tell me to avoid unnecessary stress.

So I spent a few weeks in bed, eating very little and taking a xanax on extra bad days. Suddenly, on May 27th 2019, I had the grand mother of all panic attacks. It came on while I was simply moving clothes to the drier on a hot day. But instead of fighting it, I sat calmly with my kitty by the window and let the beast run its course. I gave it no power this time and, after several minutes, the feeling was gone. I don't cry often, but when that ordeal was over, I shed tears of exhaustion and relief. I knew something had changed. While I'd go on to experience more anxiety and dissociation, that was the last 'big one'. I was finally starting to regain some control.

While our first car had a lot of problems, it gave us our first real taste of freedom.

That summer, with what little savings she'd managed to tuck away, Luna booked private driving lessons, passed her driving exam with flying colors and bought her first car. That car was a total junkbox that broke down on us each week, but Luna traded it in for a real beauty. And even though it will take years to pay off, our new car is the closest thing to 'home' we have. When we need to escape from our roommate, feel like hanging out at the beach or simply go for a night drive while listening to Vocaloid, we have the freedom to do so. There's no going back.

The 2019 holidays were the best we've had in years. We celebrated by cooking lots of great food, exchanging gifts and spending time with the decent people who remained in our lives. Luna started cosplaying with me as Hatsune Miku. We found an awesome Ragnarok Online server and got back into one of our favorite games. I stopped needing the xanax and began to open up a little about what we'd been through. I persisted in spite of the residual anxiety, pouring myself more into art on days I felt my worst. I also realized that it's okay to take breaks and give myself time to heal. I reached out to more people and found a lovely support network. I discovered that those feelings of panic and spite and pain that I thought would last forever ultimately didn't, and while I can never go back to the way things were before, maybe that's for the best.

Hatsune Miku celebrated the end of 2019 with us.

Even if 2020 has been sort of a train-wreck so far, I still feel like the previous year took home the prize. But 2019 wasn't without its victories. I dealt with a lot of inner turmoil, but in doing so, learned numerous strategies for coping with stress. I severed ties with horrid people for my own health, my sanity and my wife's. We were rewarded with peace and freedom like we'd never felt before. Once the smoke cleared, it became obvious that the important people were those who had been by our side the whole time, making us laugh and cheering us on in some of our darkest times.

Through all this, my wife has been loving and supporting as ever. She had to take over a lot of responsibilities when I was fighting my way out of hell. Even if she still had a job to get to each day, Luna cared for me. She made sure I was getting enough to eat, looked after our two cats and gave nothing but her unconditional love. Regardless of how scared or upset I was, Luna made damn certain I knew I was loved and wasn't going through this alone. Our circle of close friends reaffirmed this, even when I was terrified out of my mind. It was hard to put into words what I was going through at the time, but they listened and never cast judgement onto me.

Luna has since made leaps and bounds in her own recovery. We've found some new friends together. She started up her own discord server that has grown past 100 members. Luna has learned to open up again, to trust and talk to people. She's also earned several promotions at work. I am so proud of all that she's accomplished in such a short time. I don't say it enough, but my wife is my hero and I love her with all my heart.

I've remained hopeful, and while I haven't recovered 100%, I'm filled with gratitude. The fact that Luna not only retained her job through the pandemic, but gets to work at home with me now. Despite earning very little money and recognition, I'm still able to pour my heart and soul into every sketch and painting, each sprite and story coming from a place of passion. I've been quick to adapt to change and each setback has shown me a new path to reaching my goals. Even on a worst-case day, when my illness has me camping out in bed, I still manage to sketch out something on my clipboard. I'm fortunate enough to do what I love most every day. I feel good about the progress I've been making in the various facets of my life. And I'm grateful for all of those who have stuck with us through everything.

While I hated having to relive so much pain in the process of typing this wall of text, I hope it's provided some insight into what happened to us in 2019 and how we've come out of it. I'm doing a hundred times better than I was last year. I've gained just enough weight to look and feel healthy again. Luna and I are still in the process of rebuilding our lives but we're just now starting to see a light at the end of the long long tunnel. And I won't be giving fear, or terrible people, any more control over my life.

To Happier Times,
Tacoma

Commission Changes Update

A traditional pencil piece of Tacoma catching falling stars.
Tacoma collecting fallen stars.

Hope everyone is staying safe and calm in spite of current events.

Today I'll be taking a moment to update anyone watching my site on some commission related news.

Sometime in the next few weeks, I'll be raising my prices to reflect the demand I've received in the past year. This is for a couple of reasons.

For starters, I'm receiving far too many inquiries to keep up with, which ties into the second reason.

I'm still without a workspace or environment where I can work for more than an hour or two at a time, and I won't until Lunati and I move into our own place. Due to current events and financial difficulties, any large projects and commissions will be on hold for an unspecified amount of time.

Commissions are currently listed as closed on my social media platforms due to the high volume of commissions I've received in the last year. Normally this would be a good thing, if I were able to finish everyone's work in a reasonable time frame.

A recent pixel art commission of a fishing cat.
A recent pixel art commission.

If you really need art from me and are willing to pay at a rate of at least $10 an hour, please email or contact me on Discord for an estimate. Make sure to completely read through my commissions page prior to contacting me.

My Patreon is still getting monthly updates, with icon packages and coloring pages. Every little bit helps, so if you like my work at all, consider donating even a dollar a month. If you can't afford to donate, please take a few seconds of your time to spread the word to others who might enjoy my art. It would make me really happy to hear my work has reached more people.

A big, heartfelt thank you to my current Patrons: Elwood, Biscuit & Kaori.

Be well,
Tacoma

Tales From the Backend

A white and blue striped booty of a cloudtiger
A peek behind the scenes.

For the first time in a long time, this is Lunati, making her first post to our lovely Cloud Tiger Productions site.

Professional web development has turned into a hobby for me, but I love creating and designing this lovely site, and putting this out has been a huge adventure for me. Creating this has been something that has been a huge creative journey for me, and being able to finally update my skills and start over from the beginning again has been a wonderful opportunity.

I mostly do work behind the scenes both with work on our fantastic Club Nimbus dream as well on the dragonspeak side of things, as well as our website.

A screenshot of the new redesigned Cloud Tiger Productions website A screenshot of the original Cloud Tiger Productions website
A screenshot of the new redesigned Club Nimbus website A screenshot of the original Club Nimbus website
New vs. Old Website Designs

So why is this a big deal? A nice new shiny mobile site, and also a totally new update for everything, including a long overdue update of our Club Nimbus site!

Tacoma now has a massively redone Gallery with more to come around the corner.

I hope everyone who visits enjoys what the past several months of work have yielded, and it brings as much joy as putting it out there did.

Have a cozy day,
Lunati

p.s. And a happy birthday to my lovely wife, Tacoma~!

Site Construction & Updates

Galeplume Gryphons return their flight back to the isles.

It's been a very busy summer for the two of us. Lunati has been working overtime at her job and, on days off, has been slowly rebuilding this site with greater accessibility and modern features. The gallery looks spectacular so far and I can't wait for the new site to go live. The update is taking longer than expected due to the extra hours Lunati has had to pick up. We'd like to move out and get our own apartment again sometime this year so we're doing whatever we can to speed up the process.

The Club Nimbus site in particular was very long overdue for an upgrade. Even if furcadia is more or less dead, the library is our primary lore bank for the Nimbaterra universe.

Summers have always been particularly rough on me, and this one has been no exception. Although I'm stuck indoors a lot more than I'd like to be due to health issues, I've been taking the opportunity to work out as much as possible. I'm lifting weights and following the instructions my physical therapist gave me last year.

In other news, a friend gave me a beautiful screen tablet earlier in the year and I've finally had the opportunity to learn how to draw with it. All it needed was a replacement stylus, which I ordered back in June. It's been a challenge getting used to it after two decades of using a mouse.

In the meantime, still working on advertising and social media promotion. If you like my art and our stories, please consider donating on Patreon to show your support. No amount is too small, and the support means a lot to me.

Thanks for checking out the site and please watch me on FA for more regular postings and updates!

A Very Big Thank You to my Patrons: Elwood Flickertail. You're awesome, man. Thank you for your love and support all these years.

Cheers,
Tacoma

Patreon Rewards!

Lewd sketches and more are available on Patreon!

Lunati and I have been super busy with real life, art promotion and commissions, so this month's update will focus on some of the rewards I've made available for supporters on Patreon.

Every month, I release a new Icon Package featuring nine new windows icons (48x48px) with sprites from Club Nimbus and some of my other personal projects.

So far, I've only added one erotic story to Patreon, but others are in the works and I look forward to sharing more of them in the future.

Supporters at the $50 tier get one digital sketch a month. Here's an example of one I've made for a Patron recently.

Supporters at the highest tier get all of the rewards I've made available on Patreon plus a traditional ink sketch mailed to them each month. The sketches can be of your own character or any of mine, the choice is yours!

Coloring pages are another feature available to everyone at the $5 or higher level. These coloring pages are all in .psd format.

In other news, I've had an influx of commissions lately and will probably be closing in a month or two to focus more on Patreon and a few personal paintings I've had on the back burner for awhile.

Stay tuned, more is on the way!

A Huge Thank You to my Patrons: Kuro, Javan & Elwood Flickertail. You guys rock, thanks for your support!

Much Love,
Tacoma

Branching Out

Tacoma trains for battle. This coloring page
and more are available on my Patreon.

March has been a hectic month, so updates have been slower than usual. I've been wrapping up commissions and updating Patreon with icon packs and coloring pages plus sketches for my newest patron, Kuro.

Lunati has been helping me with advertising and promotion, which I am wholeheartedly thankful for. On her days off work, she's been helping me get my art up on various galleries I've registered at. We're also working together to make a better navigation system for my site.

For now, I'll post some of the links here to my new galleries. FurAffinity and DeviantArt are the primary ones I'm most active in.

DeviantArt
FurAffinity
Weasyl
Inkbunny
Furiffic

A Huge Thank You to my Patrons: Kuro, Javan & Elwood Flickertail. You're all incredible and I'm so very grateful for your support!

Cheers,
Tacoma

Discord & FurAffinity

Cenia welcomes you to join in the shenanigans.

Prior to 2018, I withdrew from social media to pursue more personal projects and develop my characters. After some discussion with my wife and our closest friends, I decided to make my art public outside of Furcadia and Discord. I've been working to build a larger audience by adding more coloring pages, icon packs and other goodies to my Patreon, but I've also been posting more art to FurAffinity and similar sites. Rebuilding from the ground up has been difficult and slow, but I feel good about finally getting around to it.

I've also made the decision recently to open up my Discord channel, Tacoma's Sky Sanctuary, to anyone who's been following my art. It's a small server but the few friends we have there are fairly active and share some good stuff. We're a lewd bunch so be warned that it's very NSFW.

In the meantime, I'm still taking small commissions, as well as commissioning other artists for more art of Tacoma and Lunati. We've had a crazy couple of months and receiving art has been a big bright spot in our lives. I'm satisfied with the progress that's been made and people we've met along the way. We hope to build greater stories with our characters and make more friends this year.

A Very Big Thank You to my Patrons: Elwood Flickertail and Javan. Thank you both so much for supporting my work, it means the world to me.

Cheers,
Tacoma

Story Update

The library is now open.

For the past week or two, I've been working to better organize all of the character profiles and stories here. Lunati in particular did a lot of writing and character development in 2018 and it came as a surprise to us both just how much was missing from the site. Each character now has their own page which either includes a story or profile. In the future, I'd like everyone from the Nimbaterra Chronicles to have a separate page with their info and a story detailing some important moment that occured in their lives. In the case of Cenia, her page is a short tale describing the accident that turned her into a Zengre. Cassandra is, so far, the only character who has both a story and detailed info about her personality and relationship to other characters. Both Blacktalon and Cassandra, our main villains, received extensive development in 2018 and, going forward, I think there's still a lot more work to be done.

In the meantime, I'm slowly pulling together my portfolio and opening up more galleries on various sites, which includes advertising and trying to build a larger audience for my work. The main problem I bumped into last year was finding supporters to continue doing what I love. For a few months, even commissions were few and far in between. These are issues I'd like to try and resolve in the new year. Thankfully, I've got a lot of fun things planned for my galleries and Patreon so I'll be updating here as I get through my backlog and post some new stuff soon.

Cheers,
Tacoma